An article in The New York Post focused on a phenomenon known as “dinner whores.” While it seems a bit sensational, the women quoted in the article indicated that they would do what needed to be done (that is to seduce a man into believing he had a chance with them) in order to be taken to the finest restaurants. After the caviar, champagne, and every other extravagance, the women would let it be known that they had enjoyed themselves but that quite simply, their dates weren’t getting anything more than a kiss, and perhaps not even that.
This information provoked a rather rigorous debate among some people with whom I had a fairly civilized discussion. It really came down along the lines of gender: the women clearly stated that a man had to pay and that didn’t mean he was entitled to anything; the men felt that in these modern times that a woman should at least share in the cost of the meal, particularly if she has no romantic intentions toward her date. But if this is true, is it not fair to say that the male counterpart ‘dinner pimps” also exists? Are there men who feel that their money and lavish gifts entitle them to something of a sexual nature in return? I would say most definitely.
I thought about this a great deal and, since I am looking at it from a male perspective, I didn’t want to discount the female side of the story. After all, traditionally speaking it has always been the case that the man pays for the date. Where does this originate? I imagine it goes all the way back to the caveman who knocked on another cave door to pick up his date. Good old “Ugh” probably brought along his best club, escorted the female to the finest rock in the jungle, and proceeded to bash in the brains of some beast. After the lavish meal, “Ugh” might have expected at least a little kiss, but “Oh-no” protested this as a violation and requested to be returned home immediately. This is probably what led to the popular notion of the caveman clubbing the woman over the head and dragging her back to his lair.
It has always been my contention that the man pays. I am old school and I still believe that if a man asks a woman out, then he should pay for the evening. When I ask someone out on a date, I don’t believe I am entitled to anything but the pleasure of their company. To assume anything else is juvenile and selfish. If the evening goes well and something else transpires, so be it. If I am on several dates with the same person and nothing in the way of romance happens, then I must make a choice. Man up and ask her outright if there are any romantic feelings. If there are not and we still enjoy each others company, then I would expect further “dates” are not dates at all but two friends meeting for an evening, in which case I would expect her to pay her own way.
This however has now led to a dilemma. I am not as well off financially as I once was. I will not get into the reasons for this but, it would be very difficult for me to find the extra money to pay for a proper date with a lady I really liked and so I do not go on dates. I do not ask women out. I am alone because my pride and my romantic beliefs of chivalry and what is proper will not let me get into a situation which will ultimately leave me feeling too uncomfortable to be myself. For the foreseeable future, I will be single, the lesser of two evils.
No comments:
Post a Comment