Well, I broke down. I signed up for internet love. Let a computer
find me someone, hell it doesn't seem like I can do it myself anymore. I
don't go to bars anymore, or very, very rarely... and when I do I wish I
hadn't. I don't have the patience I once had to wade between the
drunken morons and the stumbling women... people too incoherent to
string 3 syllables together let along have an intelligent conversation.
"If it is too loud, you are too old..." well perhaps it is time to admit
I am too old. Don't get me wrong, I love a good time out with friends
and will dance my ass off to AC/DC... but wading through the drink til
you vomit crowd is getting tiresome. I love my friends, we have fun...
but my friends have been my friends for 30 years, and their friends have
been my friends for 20 or 10... we are a large group, more like
family...so even at parties, it is the same people. So online I go... my
friends have met people online... my family have met people online, why
not me?
Ok so first... lets make a profile... no I don't think
every person out there needs to know what my income is, or what I do for
a living... no answer... and the biggy SMOKER! Well lets do what
everyone else does... yes but trying to quit... hell I have been trying
to quit for 10 years... only now I really do want to.
Ok so
everything filled out... find me a match. First view, first profile,
first email... I am impressed. She is pretty, I like her profile and I
take the plunge.... now you wait. I get back to my inbox and I have
another email from a very pretty woman in East York... not too far...
she sends me her personal email and messenger in the first email ALARM
BELLS going off... but she seems intelligent and really sincere, so I
email back and tell her, would rather get to know each other here
first... and the response... like a form letter including "love drives
down the coast" reiterating contact me at my private yahoo email. What
coast would that be... the coast of Lake Ontario? Since then, 100 winks,
favorites, likes this photo... all from women in the US or China... all
under 40... all saying in their profile they want to meet someone
within 50km of where they live...
Don't get me wrong...
I want to find someone to love... I almost need, to find someone to
love. I am losing me... the me that wants to write, to sing, to dance. I
am missing the most important thing... inspiration. She doesn't have to
love me at first site... but when you look at someone, and they look at
you... and there is a spark... it sets you on fire. I don't care if you
are a man or a woman... when you are attracted to someone, you feel
attractive... hell you feel bulletproof. Your heart beats fast, your
hands shake and even though you look totally cool on the outside, your
hormones are break-dancing.
But here I am digital
dating, I can't see their face, can't look in their eyes, can't hear
their voice... and lets face it,,,, I could be talking to a sweet
transvestite from transexual transylvania ... Give me the old days...
when I can see and hear and hopefully lean in for a first kiss... for
now I will wade through the winks, and pokes and hints... and wait to
hear from the one who so far has made my hormones break-dance. But I
hardly think that I am the only one she is talking to... and I am pretty
sure that someone else is "so much cooler online" than I.
Just saying...
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